He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
