Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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