Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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