i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Randomize
