Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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