My underwear smells like fireworks.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
