So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
