i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
