Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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