shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
