Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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