we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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