so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
