We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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