Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Randomize
