...so i touched it.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize
