so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
