I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I'm just crazy horny about you
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Dick very happy bro
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
