What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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