They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
It was like giving head to a cactus.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
