I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
