I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
