marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
