Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
