Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Randomize
