When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
