just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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