How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
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