Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
