so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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