I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
