dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
