maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Randomize
