Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
