Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
