Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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