If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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