look no pants
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
