So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
