I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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