Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Randomize
