Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
what is it with giant penises always finding me
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize
