I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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