im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
