it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
