Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
