Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Randomize
