I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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