I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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