i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
