Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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