SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
