Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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