This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
