I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
