yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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