Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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