He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
