I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
